Get Your Christmas Gifts From The Police State!

Amanda Warren

So perhaps you think that warrantless checkpoints, random DNA sampling, no-knock SWAT raids to smoke out some criminals, and an array of high-tech weapons and drones were the only gifts bestowed upon society by a rightly outfitted militarized U.S. police force. Freedom isn’t free after all!

Get Your Christmas Gifts From The Police State!

Since Christmas advertising celebration begins earlier every year, September 22nd seems a day as appropriate as any to remember how the Police State gives back.

In at least a couple of locations last year, Santa had a personal escort in his mission of gift-giving. Because, these days, even Santa Claus is under attack from freedom-hating terrorists and criminals – ESPECIALLY because they are all Muslim (big wink). So, last year, Silver Spring, Maryland – population 70,000 – exchanged Santa’s Sleigh for a Ballistic Engineered Armored Response Counter Attack Truck, commonly known as a BearCat, so that he could safely distribute gifts and donations amid an elevated threat level.

Nothing spells Christmas spirit like an armored assault vehicle, so the journey began from Germantown and moved through Silver Spring to end in Bethesda (each town a home to Walter Reed Medical Center and a slew of other military installations routinely attacked on the Internet by conspiracy theorists).

In fact, Bethesda is home to the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (part of NIH) which just so happens to be working on an Ebola vaccine to save the planet this year, I’ll have you know – truly a gift that keeps on giving! Fittingly, Santa’s trip came to an end at a special party being given for children who are residents of The Children’s Inn at the National Institutes of Health.

All were invited to take part in this demonstration of military occupation dedication: 

 This was the itinerary for newly militarized Santa:

  • After leaving the 5th District station at 10 a.m., Santa’s first stop is at Wegman’s (20600 Seneca Meadows Parkway, Germantown).
  • Then, Santa visits Sheehy Ford (901 Frederick Rd., Gaithersburg) to thank the dealership for donations to the annual Santa ride.
  • Santa continues to the Rockville and Olney town centers.
  • Santa is slated to arrive at the county police department’s headquarters in Gaithersburg (45 W. Watkins Mill Rd.) at about 2 p.m.
  • Santa stops for lunch at  Vince & Dominic’s (10474 Auto Park Ave., Bethesda), which will host a luncheon for Santa and the accompanying police officers—something the restaurant has done for several years.
  • After lunch, Santa continues to the Silver Spring town center and to Bethesda Triangle.
  • Santa departs for his final destination—The Children’s Inn at NIH—from Bethesda Triangle. Arrival at The Children’s Inn is expected at about 5:30 p.m. From 5:30 to 7 p.m., county police officers and Santa distribute gift bags to the children at The Children’s Inn.

Can’t get to any of these locations to see Santa in person? Join Santa and the police on a virtual ride-along on Twitter ( @mcpnews, #MCPSantaRide). County police officers will tweet in real time as Santa progresses through the county, police said. (Source)

The tireless militarized Santa also spread cheer via BearCat in Riverdale, Utah (population 8,000, but thankfully also protected by military-grade weapons and vehicles. I mean the NSA Data Center is just an hour from there!) Children were greeted at destination Walmart to See Something, Say Something! And rightly so, as a fair many of those children will be employed by Walmart in the future to distribute Chinese-made gifts to future generations. Ah, the nostalgia.

Smiling Walmart employees waited as law enforcement officers from all over Weber County pulled into the store parking lot with sirens blaring and lights flashing, accompanied by children the officers have dealt with through their line of work.

These kids wouldn’t be getting a Christmas otherwise.

“It’s fun to watch the kids,” said Walmart training manager Kristen Love. She is always amazed by the generosity of the kids, who usually end up buying more gifts for their families than for themselves.

As the children piled out of the cars, Santa came rolling up in a Bearcat armored police vehicle with “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” ringing from the loud speaker.

This was an exciting prelude to Santa’s arrival across America this year via drone (yet to be confirmed by military sources), and should remind children and adults alike that we are obviously being looked after by strong and generous benefactors. (Source)

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!

Is militarized Santa appearing in your town this year? Please post a link so that fellow citizens can take part in proving to all the nations of the world how very giving freedom and security can be.

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