Beyoncé Admits to Being a Member of the Illuminati



In yesterday’s much-anticipated interview with Oprah, Beyoncé finally admitted she was a member of the New World Order, also known as the Illuminati.

Rumors have swirled since the episode’s taping; many fans wondered why Oprah never questioned the star about her alleged Illuminati ties and commented that it might be due to Oprah’s own participation in Illuminati activities.

Beyoncé Admits to Being a Member of the Illuminati

Less than three seconds into the interview, Oprah turned to Beyoncé and said, “So, you know what I’m gonna say to you … the Illuminati.” From there, Bey delved into her beginnings with the group, their assistance in her rise to fame, and her recent promotion to the highest ranks of the order.

Beyoncé says she finally came clean after feeling guilty over all the undue credit she’s been given. “People keep thinking I’m this magical ageless beauty, when really that’s the result of consuming all these blood sacrifices.” Oprah interjected, “You still work hard, and you’re raising a beautiful daughter.” Beyoncé remained critical: “People ask me how I juggled my career and pregnancy without understanding that reptilian pregnancies last only two months.”

Oprah’s surprised reaction following this statement has been deemed inauthentic by fans. As godmother to Blue Ivy, she would have presumably been present at both the conception ritual and birth ceremony.

The pinnacle of the interview was when Oprah solemnly asked if the Illuminati was behind the death of Whitney Houston. “Yes, that was us. I was there for that. But at the time I felt, in my heart, that that was what she would have wanted,” said Beyoncé.

“She had a good run.”

When it came time to discuss husband Jay-Z’s possible ties to the Illuminati, Beyoncé said, “That’s something I’d like to keep private. I don’t like to air my family affairs out in the open.”

“You’re keeping something for yourself?” replied Oprah. “Yes, exactly.”

Asked if she’d do anything differently looking back, Beyoncé says, “I can’t say so for sure. I’m a different person now. I became the queen that I am through this process and I’ve learned a lot from my mistakes.” Oprah recanted, “I’ve had some of my greatest revelations through my biggest failures.” The two then smiled at each other knowingly.

The interview delved only briefly into current Illuminati plans. Oprah asked, “Do you think the Illuminati will succeed in destroying world governments and world economies?” Beyoncé smiled coyly, “We’ll just have to wait and find out.”

At the end of the interview, Oprah held Beyoncé’s hand in hers and whispered, “Thank you for being so brave.” Then the two embraced and turned to a cheering audience while flashing the devil’s sign and smiling.

5 Responses

  1. Adam says:

    It’s from a satire site. She IS in, but to come out with it on national television (over symbolism in her vids not withstanding) would be a deadly violation of secrecy oaths. But Jay Z is the head as far as the pop and hiphop music culture go. And there isn’t going to be a husband that high up that the wife has not been brought into with. There is a earnings cap. Pay to play if you will. If you want to attain a level of success beyond x dollar amount, how much ever that is, then you HAVE to join. If you do NOT join you will see either a frame up that ruins your career, a reduction in airplay as well as bookings and or if it’s really serious they will simply make you have an accident or they find you with a suicide note. Not penned in your own handwriting of course.

  2. cas says:

    This is a FAKE interview write-up.

  3. 0jr says:

    being a whore for them and actual member are 2 different things

  4. Tina says:

    Pure b.s.I just watched the original(and I am not a fan of either) and NONE of this is mentioned,NOT ONE BIT

  5. A says:

    My god. The crack you smoked to write this must have been amazing.

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