The US Center for Disease Control has been forced to address the American public in the wake of internet rumors of a possible ‘zombie apocalypse”.
It’s hard to say which is more ‘out there’: that people believe there might be a virus that reanimates dead people, or that a federal agency actually weighed in on the issue in earnest.
The CDC has previously run a few tongue-in-cheek campaigns about zombies, using the popular theme to get the public prepared for “anything”. As the agency’s director says, “if you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse, you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack”.
But it’s now found itself in an unusual spot: having to treat the matter seriously. CDC spokesman David Daigle said the agency “does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)”.
But it’s not reassuring the masses. Zombie conspiracies are bouncing around the Internet, becoming the third most-popular search term on Google – all after a number of unrelated, yet disturbing, incidents.
A man in Miami attacked and ate the face of his victim. The victim survived, but doctors are having a hard time piecing his face together. Then, an engineering student in Maryland allegedly stabbed a man to death and then ate his heart and brain. In Canada, police are on the hunt for a porn actor who reportedly slaughtered, dismembered, sexually-violated the body and then ate his victim.
The cause for this cannibalistic outbreak is unclear – some blame drugs, others cite psychological issues. One woman even claimed it was all because of a voodoo curse. But the human fascination with the undead is not new; it’s one of the reasons the CDC used them for an awareness campaign in the first place.
And even though they deny the existence of zombies, a kit list on their website provides readers with information about everything they may need in case a zombie does come around.
So, in case you’re feeling panicky, remember: non-perishable food, medications, a utility knife, sanitation supplies, clothing, personal documents and one gallon of water per day should keep the undead away.
Zombies now in the White House too! Ruling the FED and western medias – sucking the blood from innocent civilians, kill, torture, bomb mercyless everyone. Soon we will be all collateral demage!
Stop believing every god damn thing you hear. There is no actual proof of them being “zombies’ just the fact someone ate someone’s face off doesn’t mean their a zombie. Cannibal yes, but not neccessarily a zombie. If it weren’t for all these horror films, we wouldn’t be doing this now would we? We wouldn’t know what zombies even were. It’s like people want one. You don’t.know how devastating it would be.
No Zombie Apocalypse huh? Is this the same government that says there is NO Medical use for Cannabis? -I just don’t trust those government types.
a bad movie plot, coming to an area near you. 😉
CDC must have split personalities: first they say there’s a zombie apocolypse coming, you better prepare for it, then they say, oh there aren’t really any zombies, we made that part up.
Maybe the CDC are the real zombies………..
In trying to connect the dots, it is plausible that nanotech bugs can be contolled by electromagnetic or high frequency sound waves or sound patterns (think emergency broadcast sytem alert). Google Morgellon disease and start reading. Once these “bugs” invade a host, who knows what havoc they could create?
Substance Induced Zombie Transmutation Disorder – The differential diagnosis of SIZTD is characterized by the etiology of the disease stemming from the repeated or one time use of a substance or intoxicant that renders the victim with the behavior, appearance or/and affect of a zombie. This condition is known to be brought on by exposure to several substances including but not limited to: “Krokodil” (desomorphine), methamphetamine, Scopolamine, methadrone, Phencyclidine, cocaine and alcohol. Examples of the presentation of each are generally that kroccadil and methamphetamine are noted for their appearance, sculpamine for its ambulatory lack of consciousness and the latter three for their violent psychotic behavior. One should note that there is a great deal of crossover among substances with regard to the symptoms and presentation of intoxicated individuals. Onset, duration and co-morbidity should be considered when judging the course of intoxication, dangerousness and suicidality.
FOR COMPREHENSIVE INSTRUCTIONS FOR SURVIVING THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE VISIT TEAME ZAZZU facebook.com/teamezazzu
http://www.facebook.com/notes/teame-zazzu/know-who-youre-fighting-definitions-of-the-21st-century-zombies/230784270366728
The so-called ‘tongue-in-cheek’ Zombie Apocalypse warning ads on the pretext of being prepared for a ‘terrorist attack’ could possibly have actually been a trigger sequence for mind control targeted individuals.
I put an addictive chemical in my chicken that makes you crave for it nightly
This is the Zombie-apocalyse! The best example: the Killer-rulers of NATO!