This is the 18-inch mantis shrimp (which are neither shrimp nor lobsters but similar to both) a fisherman pulled out of the water while fishing off a dock on the Indian River Lagoon in Florida. Apparently this is an exceptionally sized species of mantis shrimp too. I’d say, that things looks like a mutant. The sort of creature that’s always trying to gnaw my pecker off or scuttle up my butt in my worst nightmares. I hate those dreams. Honestly, I’m not sure what I would have done if I caught that thing, but I doubt it would have been stopping to pose for pictures. I probably would have thrown the fishing rod and set the whole lagoon on fire. After all, mantis shrimp are like cockroaches — for every one you see, there’s like 1,000 more hidden somewhere. “Since when are you the mantis shrimp expert?” Please, I write on the internet, I’m an expert on everything. Plus can practice medicine in all fifty states. “Define what you mean by ‘practice medicine.’” Experiment with drugs.
Keep going for one more shot of the burn it with fire then somebody taste it and tell me if it’s worth trying.
Thanks to Gena, who agrees it’s probably not a good idea to go home and throw that bastard in your aquarium.
