Nobel Committee Asks Obama “Nicely” To Return Peace Prize (Satire)

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Thorbjorn Jagland, chairman of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, said today that President Obama “really ought to consider” returning his Nobel Peace Prize Medal immediately, including the “really nice” case it came in.

Nobel Committee Asks Obama “Nicely” To Return Peace Prize

Jagland, flanked by the other four members of the Committee, said they’d never before asked for the return of a Peace Prize, “even from a damnable war-criminal like Kissinger,” but that the 10% drawdown in US troops in Afghanistan the President announced last week capped a period of “non-Peace-Prize-winner-type behavior” in 2011.  “Guantanamo’s still open. There’s bombing Libya. There’s blowing bin Laden away rather than putting him on trial. Now a few US troops go home, but the US will be occupying Afghanistan until 2014 and beyond. Don’t even get me started on Yemen!”

The Committee awarded Obama the coveted prize in 2009 after he made a series of speeches in the first months of his presidency, which convinced the Peace Prize Committee that he was: “creating a new climate of…multilateral diplomacy…an emphasis on the role of the United Nations…of dialogue and negotiations as instruments for resolving international conflicts…and a vision of world free of nuclear arms.”


“Boy oh boy!” added Jagland. “Did we regret that press release!”

But, he revealed the committee members were all “legless drunk” the day they voted, as it was the start of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival. The “totally toasted” members listened over and over to replays of Obama’s Cairo speech, tearing up and drinking shots to the glorious future: a black man leading America and the world into a new era of peace, hope and goodwill. “For a few hours we were all 18 year-old students again at the beautiful, occasionally sunny University of Bergen! Oh, how we cried for joy!”

 The chairman said the committee weren’t “going to be pills” about getting the Prize back because they still “basically really liked” Mr. Obama and that sending it back in a plain package by regular mail would fine if it would save him the embarrassment of a public return. But added Jagland, “things could get nasty” if the committee didn’t see it by the time they announce the new Peace Prize winner in the fall. He and the committee then excused themselves to resume their celebration of Norway’s annual aquavit-tasting festival. The White House  had no comment. It later announced an aggressive new covert CIA initiative to identify and apprehend Al Qaeda operatives in Scandinavia.

Source: thefinaledition.com

38 Responses

  1. LMAO says:

    And you people are believing this? It was lifted verbatim from “The Final Edition” — a comedy website. Of course, the fact that it’s clearly labeled “Satire” should have been a clue. I’m astonished at how gullible people can be.

    • 5 War Veteran says:

      LMAO
      And you people are believing this? It was lifted verbatim from “The Final Edition” — a comedy website. Of course, the fact that it’s clearly labeled “Satire” should have been a clue. I’m astonished at how gullible people can be.

      Aww come on and get on the bandwagon! ROTFLMAO!!!
      Keep it going!
      There is nothing wrong when it comes to playing with other peoples fantasies!
      LOL!!!.

  2. ----------------- says:

    Oscumma should also resign from its presidency in disgrace.

  3. Elaine says:

    Wouldn’t you have loved to have been a fly on the wall when he got the news that “We want our Peace Prize back, okay?” lol

  4. Robert Hauser says:

    As I say, the New World Order has a Third World Odor

  5. Dennisf says:

    The man is an admitted Moose Limb….Why do you think he lies and lies and lies with a straight face .. Do you remeber his speech downing Bush about the amount of executive orders he had written (four) ,,,,, Obama has written over 900 executive orders.. This is Hitler on the rise………………..wake up people

    • Robert Hauser says:

      I would take Hitler as a leader any day over this execrable Kenyan spawned mulatto bastard son of a self-hating white trash porn queen and a deported communist rat—at least Hitler lead his people —-this puke of a current star boarder in the White Brothel couldn’t lead a two car funeral. He has never been anything but a lap poodle for the stink rich parasites of wallow Street.

      • 5 War Veteran says:

        Robert Hauser
        I would take Hitler as a leader any day over this execrable Kenyan spawned mulatto bastard son of a self-hating white trash porn queen and a deported communist rat—at least Hitler lead his people —-this puke of a current star boarder in the White Brothel couldn’t lead a two car funeral. He has never been anything but a lap poodle for the stink rich parasites of wallow Street.

        Thank you for the laugh! Well said!
        It is sickening how much support Obamanation, the destroyer of American rights gets from mindless American sheeple.
        My favorite I heard in the first election was from my sister. “Obama is President because God put him there!”
        I wonder how God felt about that?
        Now her story is the opposite. Just mentioning Barry Sotero gets her boiling. Something about the election fraud in her home state.

  6. Muhammad Ramzan Mallah says:

    Its good to know this. It would have been good enough if an iota of the lethal drones executed against Pakistan was also mentioned in the press conference.

  7. Noz says:

    Two fake presidents in a row, the world is having a belly laugh of the stupidity of United states, and the nobel committee is using the excuse, they were drunk they are full of shit.

  8. anonymous says:

    I think you’ve been had.
    This looks like a spoof – the writer is called ‘ NORM DE PLEUME ‘ for crying out loud.
    I strongly suggest you retract this story before you get egg in your faces or at least put a warning that this might be a hoax article.
    Look at the photo of them celebrating in the original article – definitely a hoax.

  9. cloud nine says:

    Obooboo receiving the peace prize lowered its value in my site to nothing.
    Al Gore winning over the lovely, compassionate Irene Sendler started me realizing how corrupt the politics had gotten.
    The award should not be decided when the committee is drunk. But that may simply be a cover for the politics, as this has been going on for awhile.
    Also, I am fed up with obooboo being called ‘black’.
    When I first saw him, I said; “WE HAVE A MUSLIM RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT?!”
    We do not have a president in the White house, we have a traitor. A lying imposter.
    And he was not elected.

    • 5 War Veteran says:

      anonymous
      I think you’ve been had.
      This looks like a spoof – the writer is called ‘ NORM DE PLEUME ‘ for crying out loud.
      I strongly suggest you retract this story before you get egg in your faces or at least put a warning that this might be a hoax article.
      Look at the photo of them celebrating in the original article – definitely a hoax.

      This coming from a writer called Anonymous? .

    • 5 War Veteran says:

      cloud nine
      Obooboo receiving the peace prize lowered its value in my site to nothing.
      Al Gore winning over the lovely, compassionate Irene Sendler started me realizing how corrupt the politics had gotten.
      The award should not be decided when the committee is drunk. But that may simply be a cover for the politics, as this has been going on for awhile.
      Also, I am fed up with obooboo being called ‘black’.
      When I first saw him, I said; “WE HAVE A MUSLIM RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT?!”
      We do not have a president in the White house, we have a traitor. A lying imposter.
      And he was not elected.

      Many agree he was not elected.

  10. dusel1 says:

    Obama’s false prize would be reneged.

  11. fred says:

    They made O-bamby and his war-crimes possible (with Nato-support) and now the Nobel-price-commitee want to show good conscience…

  12. spartacus ! says:

    oh ! bozo and the clowns just figured out that the “pyromaniac ” is not peace loving !

  13. Robert Hauser says:

    Snockered to the gills on aquavit…..explains it all

  14. krisskrass says:

    Did not happen,
    The pic from the “source” is taken years ago.

    Sincerely, a norwegian.

  15. Robert Hauser says:

    Well, the Nobel has been around for quite a while but there’s a new kid on the block—came out in recent years: it’s called the IG-Nobel and consists of a large pill shaped gizmo made of baked horse manure. Somehow they got the two prizes mixed up in O-Dark-Nobody’s case and the rest is dismal history.

  16. Robert Hauser says:

    From a nation that supposedly put a couple men on the moon to a country that had the suicidal stupidity to put two baboons in the White House….this country must be the laughing stock of the entire universe.

  17. jmcaul says:

    President Obama helps to fight White Genocide and you can too!! Google “Hiram’s Petition’s” and join in on the fun! AFRICA FOR THE AFRICANS. ASIA FOR THE ASIANS. WHITE COUNTRIES FOR EVERYONE! It’s genocide.

    anti-racist is a code word for anti-White

    • Robert Hauser says:

      This country is maggot-ridden with “code words” aka “cabalisms”—the jews who have wrecked this country know their true meaning and the rest of us are not supposed to until after it’s too late…which of course it is anyway and nearly all of Europe quite tragically.

  18. Ltpar says:

    One only has to consider the source of this bullshit award to grasp the degree of ignorance of those people who make it? Without defending Obama, the remarks about the aggression by the United States reinforces my suggestion of hypocracy on the part of the Nobel Committee. Without the United States and the lives of many Americanns, those clownsin Norway would today be speaking German and making their awards to the Nazis. Sorry boys, but once you make the award to some worthless person like Barack Obama, you are stuck with him. Better luck next year.

    • claus doehringhttp://www.pakalertpress.com/2013/02/15/kill-anyone-you-want-law-has-been-abandoned-in-america-satire/ says:

      oh boy, i like the german language and the nazis didn’t create and want the war.so there is nothing wrong to reward them with the peace price. i think that is now common knowledge

  19. carl says:

    When you give something of value to someone who has not done any work of any value,you are a fool.Or you are involved in charity.

  20. Typical liberal! Drinks the Frobama cool-aid when it was trendy, and now has regrets. We White Nationists were telling you all along you were making a mistake,not even on racial grounds, but political and social. Frobama is a genocidal murdering puppet of the jews, just like those that came before him.

  21. gary says:

    This is good, this means people are looking at the deeds and have gotten past the BS words / rhetoric coming out of Odumbo’s mouth.

  22. Robert Hauser says:

    Yes, and the reason for this is that they have finally found the original Zodiac living in exile in Paraguay and they feel he is far more worthy of the prize.

  23. Elaine says:

    I never did understand how in the world he was awarded it in the first place!

  24. 5 War Veteran says:

    The Elite do not value drivel like this. Obama is a war criminal just not convicted yet. GB Jr was convicted and now sits in his wealthy apportioned home in Texas laughing at his conviction.

    The Elite are too haughty and unless the people are willing to stand up and enforce the convictions all of them will remain meaningless.

    Waste of time and waste of paper.

  25. NO Thorbjorn Jagland, chairman of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, you and your committee need to do your homework before handing them out.

    • Elaine says:

      One of two things happened:
      1) He got the peace prize for being the first black president; or
      2) They were paid a handsome amount to give it to him.

      IF you can come up with a 3rd, 4rh etc. let me know.

      • claus doehringhttp://www.pakalertpress.com/2013/02/15/kill-anyone-you-want-law-has-been-abandoned-in-america-satire/ says:

        that is not fair, you left us no choice

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